Birthday Blockers

At last! A cure for the trauma of having another birthday sneak up on you so close to the last one! It seems you just blew out last year's candles and whack, you are smacked with another birthday cake. Well, instead of suffering the chills and sweats of getting another year older, take these tablets and you'll breeze through the day with no cares at all!

DIRECTIONS: Swallow entire package with hefty amounts of Gin. We guarantee you won't feel a thing!
Dr. Les Years, Spring Chicken Laboratories, Youngstown New York.